Why do you do Kendo?

"Why do we train kendo? Why do we go for kendo training. Are we forced to? Or are we doing it out of our own free will" Above was the essence of what our sensei lectured us, due to our lethargic movement and sloppy footwork tonight/last night. In life as in kendo, it is the same. Many a times, we do things for the sake of doing it. We are not sure, not clear in our path. We just follow. We avoid asking ourselves such difficult questions as in WHY? WHY? If we are clear in why we do things, then we will do them better, and more efficient.. and we wont be in such contradiction and misery. But life is far from perfect. We are not born with all these answers. Thats why we must search. And in the process of it, enjoy the journey of this search. Its not easy, nothing worth searching is easy. But if you find it, it would be definately worth the while... And meantime, u can enjoy the ride too.

Always Maintain your posture and composure

Never show your weakness to your opponent.

Never say die.

Never give up.

Research, Kendo, Research, Kendo, Research......

This is what I do all day, research or kendo. Its either one or the other... Ok, I do eat and sleep too... but besides that, its all about my masters project and kendo.

So many things to do for my project, but so little time. And oh the all so mighty Murphy is right again. Murphy's first law, whatever can go wrong WILL go wrong. And these things going wrong are setting my completion date further and further back. And with the scholarship ending, my savings will be going dry soon. "SPare Change, Spare change for the needy.....""Poor masters student needs money to complete Thesis... and buy a brand new hi-fi""spare change for the needy"

Then theres kendo stuff. Back in Kendo training after 3 wks of MC, doing up all the minutes, agenda and stuff for the Alumni meetings and new responsibilities to help out in admin of the 7AKT. But really excited about it though. Going to a regional event to help out in the admin. Would really broaden my horizon and also a lot of experience to gain. But thats in Sept. Now, its still ok. Seems to be more busy with kendo stuff then work stuff... ahha... not good not good. Need to graduate fast.

Oh! yesterday was my friend's convocation! Wah.. so fast. They are all graduating already. And a friend of hers whom i got to know when i went newspaper collecting with them earlier on won the Lee Kuan Yew Gold medal!!! OMG!!! But he really doesnt look like the nerdy nerdy type. Friendly, socialable, street-wise, and crapping non-stop like the rest of us, you would think he is the type who plays too much and forget to study type. But boy was I wrong. Well, some people gets all the luck... and even worse... some get all the luck... AND they work hard TOO!! Damn... HAhahaa.... Well, congradulations to the graduating class of 2004!

time flies, 2 yrs...
hope you've been happy.
happy 13th July.

Determination

If single-minded determination is absent, one will never advance regardless of the years in training... Technique has its place, but spiritual forging is far more important...

Yamaoka Tesshu (1836-1888)Itto Shoden Muto Ryu
from THE SWORD OF NO-SWORD: Life of the Master Warrior Tesshuby John Stevens

The rain has finally stopped


The pass 2 weeks has been gloomy weather to me. Flu, Cough, Headache, bad news and MORE bad news. Looks like the rain has finally stopped. The cough has finally showed signs of recovery. Still coughing, but much less frequent already. At least I can almost complete a WHOLE conversation without coughing too much. Great achievement i assure you.

So today, I am back in my office, rolled up sleeves and started making specimens for my experiments. Hope to be able to complete all the experimental work by early august. Tough, TOUGH i tell you! but will try my best. Well, anyway, today is a good start.

Also, do u think i should cut my hair? its only been.....humm... 4 months since i last cut it..... Sigh... and by october I would need to go back to my first reservice. *BIG SIGH* haha.. So no point cutting too much now. but i think i will la. Maybe will get it TRIMMED on wednesday. T_T

Bad things never travel alone

Been sick for the pass few days... again!.. whats new right? Developed a bad cough since last sat... tot it was nothing.. but sunday night, it got so bad that i couldnt sleep. You know how your body tense up when you cough, well, this tensing up was so bad that my stomach, throat and HEAD was aching like crazy. At one point I swear my head was about to split into 2! Then after 5 days of suffering, i finally went to seek a second opinion from another doctor. And he said it could be a possible case of mild acute bronchities! ...... scary. So now i am taking anti-biotics and see how it goes.

As the chinese proverb goes, bad things never travel alone... yesterday i also got an email, saying i was being removed from an event that i was looking forward to, due to constrains in the number of participants set by the organiser, a chance to participate in an event that i was very VERY much looking forward. But well, when you are unskilled, untalented, just living in the dream of having the chance to participate in it for just 3 days would be great already. But i was saddened, disappointed and frustrated. But this is how things are. Those without talent, would just have to work harder. twice, thrice, a million times harder just to catch up (I guess what i put in just wasnt enough). Thus, REALITY. The world is not a fair place. You have to work hard to balance the odds. Sometimes i feel, all my life, thats what i have been doing. Not born with very good brains nor brawn, when other take 10 hrs to study, i need to put in 16. when people put in 1 yr of training, i need to put in 3.

Sometimes you just cant help but to wonder why its so unfair. But slowly i've grown to realise, that the more effort i put into it, the more i treasure it. The more it means to me. Sure, if i fail, it would hurt more too. But if i succeed, the joy is something other cannot begin to comprehend. Sounds as though i am trying to console myself? sure.. maybe. I really dont know. But no one really knows. Our lives is what we make of it. And things are never as bad as it seems, its just a matter of which perspective we see things from. isnt it?

but sometimes, some things in life, which no matter how much you try, it just doesnt help.