Lost (from) Civilisation

I am so sad to realise, that i only found out about tsunami on Tuesday (3 days later then the rest of the world). Its like I've lost contact with the world. Its like a timeless world i live in. No signs of day, or night. The four walls in my lab is all i see everyday. And of course the ever radiating beauty of my monitor that is going to make me blind one of these days. Not really the fault of the monitor, i always end up just 2 inches away from the screen when i'm trying to figure out WHAT THE HELL MY RESULTS MEAN!!!

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME!!!!!!
*Bangs head on monitor*
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Zaap!!!!! AeeeEHGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Fizzzzz........*electricuted and fried to a crisp*


Ok, enough of the drama.
Today there is also a special training as nuskk was invited to clementi dojo to train!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i didnt knowWWWWW!!!!! T_T

But I have Vowed to not go training till I complete my masters as a way to motivate myself to complete the thesis ASAP. But..........Hands itching like mad. I wonder how long I can stick to this "vow".

Oh man!!!! SOOOO FREAKING Frustrated with my results!!!!! Its like 30-50 over curves cutting across the screen, and I have to sort them out and figure out if there IS a pattern from all this, and just pick 5!

>_<

going to develop crosseye soooooon.

Lets observe a moment of silence for those many lives lost in the region.
......

God Bless.

Alpha Oscar, Over and out.

Midnight Jogger

At the strike of midnight, I put on my jogging shoes, and set off on a painful journey to relief stress.

I realised I needed exercise during dinner today. I wanted to ran to the canteen to meet my friend for dinner. Within 20 paces, my knees started to ache!!! OMG!!! I feel like 54!!! That does it, i MUST start doing some exercise!!!

Its been almost 3 months since i last exercised. I think all the joints in my body is oxidizing (more cheem word for rusting). And i am feeling REALLY unfit! As my faithful friend has put it, bellyring is forming. Sooon, it might engulf my entire body and i will turn into a blob... I might not even be able to fit into my bougu!!! Nah... ok.. i am exaggerating.

But the feeling is good. Before the jog, I was feeling grumpy, moddy, cranky, and many other names of the famous seven dwarfs. Now, I feel like a million bucks! Recharged and aching all over. Hahaha.. but i like this feeling, makes you feel alive doesnt it? The after-exercise-aching-all-over-feel-alive feeling. YEsh! thats the one! I feel so good, i think i will do situps till dawn!

NOT!!!!
u gotto be out of ur mind!!!!

>_<

KOOoooooooN!!!!! ZZzzzzz....... -_-Zzzzzz

Curry.

I like curry.

Curry goes well with
French Fries,
Mac Spicy,
Filet O' Fish
and Mac Nuggets.

I like curry.

I am bored,
I am STRESS,
cant you tell?

>_<
ARRGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

Why are fries french? Were they created by the french? Hmm....
ARRGGGggggggg!!!!!!! >_<

 

Post Christmas Syndrome

Dont feel like working!!!!!! >_<

Arrg.... and also, maybe due to the whole CARTON of coke that i manage to consume over the short span of 2-3 days of christmas celebration. Burb!!! -_-

Ooooooowwww...... dont feel too well.

Have been sleeping about 4-5 am for the pass few days too. Got hooked onto my PS2 over the holidays... damn!! not exactly what i need now. Exploring Onimusha1 and Tenchu2 concurrently. Sigh... not good not good.

Also, just got up to date (episode 10) with Gundam Seed Destiny. Oh man!!! dont know how to explain, but always feel motivated to work hard after watching it. I get motivated easily. Guess thats a good thing. But watching gundam always reminds me how tiny my day to day problems are, as compared with people who face poverty, hungry, war and those consumed by anger and hatrate. We too often become obsessed with how HUGE our own problems are htat we forgot how small they actually are once we compare ourselves with the less fortunate. I am also not saying that we should be contented with life, and do nothing. Besides, progress comes only when we are not satisfied with what we have. But then again, we must also be aware of those less fortunate... dont you think?

Family Christmas

Once again, the yearly christmas amily gathering at my mom's side has come. Gathering of cousins and uncles and aunties, granddad and grandma. Playing of Piano together with Singing of christmas songs in Chinese. Us AngMo-nised cousins trying to decifer how to read the chinese printout lyrics..(every year). Mummbling of the songs and humming loudly to cover up our inadequacies in our mother tongue. Cheering and jeering at each other. Collect presents (always chocolate) from our granddad. This year, we go according to height instead of age to decide who goes first. Poking fun at our younger cousins.

It doesnt sound like much, but its just fun to catch up with all my cousins again. What do we really need in life? Money? Achievements? Fame? Fortune? Recognition? Maybe some, maybe a little of all.

Christmas is a season to be with your love ones, your close ones. Its not all about shopping and spending. Sometimes, we all lose sight of this. Its about forgiving and forgetting, loving and caring. We are all too busy all year round to forgive, forget, love, care, share. Its the time of the year to remind ourselves of that. But then, thats what I think. What would i know, I'm just me. Merry Christmas :)

CHRISTMAS DAY

Merry Christmas EVERYBODY!!!! :)

Hahah... although i've not been in much christmas mood this year, but its really nice to be christmas day! Although i am now in lab doing my thesis while everyone else is either nuaring at home or out there having fun, recovering from being badly pissed drunk from yesterday's parties, but its ok! i can take it! ITS CHRISTMAS!!!

Had a GREAT Christmas party last night at my place. A bunch of Undergrad days friends came over and used my place for the party. They organised it. I just hung around and eat and drink! haha BEST! But it was really great. Although there werent much games or excitement, but we sat around and chat all night. Its been a long long time since we did that, as a whole gang:) But I guess everyone's getting old. All of them left to return to their beds within an hour pass midnight. But I did manage to find my own source of enjoyment after that.

Turned off all the lights, light up some candles to dimly light up the living room, and turn on jazzy oldies christmas songs like the Christmas Song ("Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." version ) and Christmas Waltz. Fantastic Atmosphere. Sigh.. dont understand why some people dont like christmas songs. THATS THE ONLY TIME TO LISTEN TO CHRISTMAS SONGS!!! If you dont listen to christmas songs during christmas... then WHEN DO you listen to them? :) Anyway, I love them :) Had a wonderful time replying smses and just lazing on the sofa gazing into the flickering flame. :) It is a Merry little Christmas :)

Merry Christmas !!!

Its the time of the year again. Christmas is here :) Heart-filled presents and warm wishes :) May there be peace on earth and love all around. Merry Christmas!!! 

Was up till 4am choosing photos to develop for the 24 coupons of free 8R. Free with every roll of film development. Had to narrow down from a hefty 69 pics to 24... sigh.. late nights are killing me. Still spent time labling the negatives to make sure that the developing place dont mess it up. Hahah... Vol 3 of the essence of my backpacking photo diary, Coming right up! 

I was lying on some protruding rocks under the cliff of the observation point along the southern rim of grand canyon. Everyone else was busy trying to sqeeze into a spot along the cliff, that they didnt notice this great spot. So I just relaxed my aching back along the walls, legs out stretched. Waiting till the sun set way beyond the horizon. Till the sky turned from red, to orange, to dark navy blue. Till the area was totally dark and I ALMOST couldnt find my way back to the lodge. -_-" 

A nice shot of daisies somewhere near Kobe, Japan. A very good shot for my standards, I can never take "flower shots". Always turns out weird. This, is an exception. Cause they are really that beautiful :) 

Working Home

Was aching from head to toe and back up this morning. So I've decided to stay home to do work instead of traveling alll the way to school. Anyway i was kinda sick of the lab after months , literally months in terms of hours spent, in there. SO! i tried working from home to see if efficiency will go up.

I woke up at 1pm....
....

Cleared a bit of my room, and my laptop (only 100MB left from 12GB of space) and.... thats all for efficiency...-_-

Sigh.. tried to do a bit.. but only manage to cough out about 3 paragraph for my chapter for literature review. Its so hard to dig up literature review of something that not much have been done on. But i just cant leave it blank. And not sure what i am going to discuss about during my results and discussion chapter, hmm... maybe I should just leave it and come back after i am done with the discussion. So i'd know whats more relevent to write.

Its nice to laze on the sofa and watch tv with ur jaw left agar... mind a blank... (part of kendo training to reach the NO MIND stage... really!) just finish watching an episode of Las Vegas. Cool show. Cool cars, lots of cash and sexy babes. I mean.. erm.. it was educational.. U learn how to catch cheats in casinos and look good in suits and how everybody in las vegas are supermodels and the most important lesson of all, DONT SLEEP WITH YOUR BOSS'S DAUGHTER. No matter how sexy and incredibly gorgeous they are. Hmm..... important lesson.

But whats this with the obsession of fathers with their daughters. Fathers are always going nuts and tries to kill the bf of their daughters. At least in shows they do. Haha.. but maybe I'll turn out to be one of them in the future. Well, no need to worry about that. Still along long time away, if at all possible.

Arrggg!!!! its midnight!!!! >_<
End of experiment of staying home to do work. Doesnt work for me. Back to jail, i mean lab for me tomorrow. Need to make a come back fast! only 2 wks till end of dec and i've still got so much to do. Guess going back to office on christmas day is turning into an inevitable fact soon...-_-

Arrggg.....FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So near.. yet so far...

!!!!!!!! havent bought my 2 gift exchange presents yet!! oh my gosh!!! >_<" gets cold sweat thinking of the brutal crowd i have to bash through to get the presents.. not to mention the emptiness of my already reduced wallet.

Guess its gonna be a blue christmas for me this yr...-_-

Tired!!! Physically!

Oh man! soo freakin tired today!!!!

Saturday morning I went for my first jog in 4 months....or was it 5.. ahhaa.. jogged REALLL slow in case all my brittle bones shatter... 20 minutes for about 2-3 km max. Dont wanna strain my back before the tournament sunday morning. hahaa... not funny.
Forced a few sets of sit ups and chin ups.. and i feel GOOD. ahhaa....till today....-_-

Today's tournament was relatively good. I won my first match with a lucky men when my opponent and I canclled each other's kote, then i followed with a men when he didnt expect it. Caught him when he let his guard down. But got creamed by my next opponenet who happened to emerge the champion. Hahaha.. champion le!!! *consuling myself* hahaha... Aww.... split my head and chopped off my hand within 20 seconds? somewhere there la. ahhaa... but i am happy. I didnt die too horribly. ahaha.

But now my whole body is aching... ehh.h........ OOooowww... my aching back....

I AM NOT OLD!!!!!!

just older.....

WIPED OUT AGAIN?!?!

This is the second time it has happened.

MY BLOG HAS BEEN WIPED OUT AGAIN!!!!

Everything. All the HTML of my template has been WIPED OUT! Nothing remains on the page where i spent hours trying touch up and add stuff to prop up my site!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!

I AM PISSED!!!!

>_<

I can see PHOTOS!!!

Finally, I have subscribed to *HELLO* which allows me to put photos on my blog. Thats one of the reasons why I left blogspot, and also why I came back. But one bad thing is I cant seem to put the photos within an entry... hmm.. how inconvenient.

YesH! today is FRIDAY!!!!! I am sure many of you guys out there are happy as can be. BUT IT DOESNT MAKE A DAMN DIFFERECE TO ME!!!!!!

>_<

Cos I will still be working through the weekend ANYWAY. And with only left 2 weeks before my targetted deadline... literally DEAD LINE!!!

Well, not alls that bad... I have decided to have a can of coke later. Highlight of my day. "whoopee"! *waves pom pom enthusiastically...NOT!*

But I AM going town later, for dinner....
Orchard AIRRRR!!!!!!

>_<
*Hyperventilates*

COKE!!!!!  

A shot of a old looking broken down house in Waseda, Tokyo. Reminds me of the anime Mansion Ikkoku. 

Been toying around with photoshop. I love black and white photos. Real cool looking, especially with the white border. This is a shot at HK international airport when I was on my way to Las Vegas for a conference in June04.  

Of all the I.d.i.o.t.i.c. things I've done!!!!

Of all the I.D.I.O.T.I.C. things I have done.. this is one of the best liao!

I booked the SEM (an electron microscope/expensive/high demand, thus, at most can get a chance to use it once a week) for wednesday morning.... but i kept thinking its TODAY!!!! >_< #%&$^#%$&#%$@!#$!@#%$&%@##

OH MY #%$!^&@^%$!@#!^%&%$%$

-_-

@#$%%$&^&$#^^$#%!@#

All i can do now is to make another booking next THURSDAY!!!! and hopefully on friday morning (christmas eve), everyone will be too slack to come to school, I will use it as well. SEM images of my specimens are one of the 3 main things i need to complete before i can complete my experiments and wrap up my thesis. And expecially when its an equipment in high demand, its so hard to get a chance to use it.

I think stress is overflowing through my ears already....

Burning out?!

Crap! everything feels like crap! Feeling so crappy. Dont know why. Feel so inefficient when i do work. No mood for doing anything but to lazy around, watch anime or watch kendo videos... and of course.. sleep...

Is it stress? Laziness? or just absolutely sick sick SICK of what i am doing, and totally burnt out liao?!

Zen zen wakaranai!

-_-

SIANZZZZZZZzzzzz...................

BURN SBS BURN!!!!

Let me tell you guys a story... once upon a time.....

Alvin went to clementi town for dinner. He has his thesis to complete, but thought it would be good to take a break and go somewhere different for dinner for a change.

On his way home, hr waited for bus 96 to come so that he could quickly get back and continue his work.......so he waited for bus 96, and he waited and waited and waited. And he waited for almost 40minutes.. 96 dont come!!!!!!

Finally, with a helpless sigh, he gave up hope of waiting for 96 and thought maybe the service ended early today for some special reason without him knowing.. so he walked the long road back...but as he was almost reaching the highway, 96 buses started to zoom by.... one by one..-_-

When he was finally one street across his office... FOUR... FOUR!!!!! 96 was queueing in a row... as if parading in front of him..... he could have swore their exhaust fume smell, no, no, REEK of mockary...-_-

WHY!!!!! WHY ME!!!!!

BURN SBS!!!! BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Epilogue
When he got back to his lab.. it was empty... pitch dark... evryone has went..
only his lonely computer left on flashing the screen saver....... with only 10 minutes before the last bus home... what is he to do.....-_-

This is NOT my day....

Alone in Lab

Thats right! its a sunny saturday morning, everyone's at home sleeping or out there enjoying life. And where am i? IN LAB!!! >_< 9am-11pm, in lab.

Need i elaborate how sucky my life is?

Oh! i forgot.. i will be in lab tomorrow as well...

-_-

That says it all doesnt it?
Case closed...

Combine Training

It has been a long time since we had combine training between the only two schools in Singapore. Sensei made us do do training together amoung the seniors and the 40+ beginners. So it was back to basics, like how to hold our posture properly. That there are 3 points to note when holding Kamae.

1. Upper back must be in tension
2. Lower back must be in tension
3. Tan Tian must be in tension

As he said, Kamae is beautiful. Kendo is beautiful. You cant do beautiful kendo when you cannot even move about with a good kamae. Simply, the idea was to hold the back straight and kensen center, even when we are moving to and fro. But of course, the whole thing was quite chaotic la. haha. But it was fun to train with so many people.

However, during the Ji-geiko session, I was crap. I was fighting like a hopping bunny made of jello. wobbly, breathless, bouncing (happens whenever my legs cant take it anymore) and almost slide across the dojo but ended up crashed into the wall(Lucky me). To summarise it, i suck big time. Sigh. Just 3 months out of practice (and exercise in general) has reduced me to this..... Oh man... I need to finish my thesis soon. And start doing some exercise man! Need to get back into shape! Sucks!

For my friends in Japan

I have finally sat down and MOVE most of my entries from topcities to here. Have got feedback that people in japan are not getting any of my arubintitis!!

Simply unacceptable!!!

Its December ALREADY?!?!

Oh MAN!!! its December ALReADY?! holy CRAP! !@^%!#$@#$$!$% This is really bad. I have exactly one more month before school reopens.. and i need to complete my masters thesis by then or else i will need to pay for next semester's school fees with... erm... pots of gold from the end of the rainbow...? And wat? eat grass?!

>_< CRAP!!!

15 hrs a day, 7 days a week in the office is ready to drive me up the wall and down the other side anytime man! And the added stress of the deadline really doesnt help. I sneaked back for training last sunday. It was only a short 1 hour Gi-keiko after the grading session. But my arms were about to fall off the next morning. Maybe I'm old, or could be to lack of exercise for 3 months, or the fact that i didnt do old man warmups. But it really felt horrible. Training felt horrible. I was like a sitting duck screaming on top of my lungs or with a flashing neon sign seen in Vegas "HIt me! hit ME!" Oh Man!!! Hope things pick up soon... it cant get any lower then this.... now can it?

Comeback

Its been a long long time since i blog on this blog. I had another blog using my own webspace. but friends have been having problems trying to access that from overseas. So i am thinking of transfering my stuff back here... but thats like 1 yr of blog lor.. plus all those photos... which is actually the main problem.. hmm.. see first la.. keep a look out for this page :)

Back from Japan!

Hello everyone. I AM BACK!

Actually i was back since last saturday morning. But just tooo tired to blog. And now I am back to slaving in my lab with my thesis. Good ol' no day no night days. Well, at least the rest of NUS is here to suffer with me. At least for these 2 weeks. Then they will get freedom!!!! and I will STILL be here doing my thesis. Stress!!! Another one of my friend has decided to accept a PhD offer. Stress!!!!! What about me?? My supervisor hinted to me to take my PhD, but..... NO THANKS!!!! not with this project anyway. So tired of this already. Wanna go out to the working world and see what horror it holds. Ahhaha.. ah.... damn sianz.. will blog more about my trip soon la. just so tired now. Sigh.zz.....

Its decided. Japan! Here I come!

Its like been years since i last had an entry. Has been sooo tied up with work work work work work work work work work....ARGG!!! driving me INSANE!!!! >_<

There has been a great headache recently. Its been Project+Typhoon+Earthquake vs GOING JAPAN!!! (=All Japan Kendo Federation Championship, LIVE!, + Japan In the Fall+ Rest and Relax for 2 wks)

Yes, as many of you know, Japan has been plagued with typhoons and recent Niigata 6.4 on the Recter Scale Earthquake plus many many strong after shocks. Sigh. And my project is a headache too. Although I have bought the air ticket for S$600, but all this kinda tipped the scales. But also because of the atrocious working hours i have been putting in (9am till 1am), my body dont seem to be as fit as before to be able to take this kinda punishment. Over this one month of lifeless working on my project, I am beginning to feel the strain. I had no idea what to choose. To go japan! Enjoy the hell out of myself, or to stay and complete my masters ASAP! be safe from Typhoons and earthquakes and Still have some money left to enjoy my preserved life? Which how what who wah??? @_@

>_< ArrgggGGGGgggGGG!!!!!!

But finally, it just struck me... to just GO!!! listing out my train of tot would require more Megabytes this server can hold. So I shall just say the conclusion. That I WILL GO JAPAN! Leaving monday 1st nov night, and returning on the 19th nov late at night. Sigh (of relief), but my project IS a problem now. not sure how am i suppose to complete it in time tho. Well, as the boat travels to the opening of the bridge, it will naturally go straight :) Optimistic LE!!!!!!

AHHAHAHAHAhahhahaa

-_-

I love the Fall...

I love the fall, I love autumn!

Its the most romantic season of the year. Not as though there is any here where I live, cos summer is here all year round (not a good thing, i assure you). I perspire easily, so, I love the cold climate. To be able to take a long walk without breaking into sweat while enjoying the wide array of colours that spreads across the landscape. THAT, will be what i will be doing in 3 weeks time! Autumn in JAPAN!!!! The next best season to be there besides Spring, when the sakura bloom.

Yesh!!! Autumn in japan. I have also bought the Hiking in Japan Travel guide published by Lonely Planet to help in my exploration of the country of the rising sun. But i havent started planing them yet!!! damn it!! no time... too busy doing my experiments.... hmm... then what am i doing typing my blog u say? Cos i cannot forget to share with my friends out there on my joy what...right???? Ahahahah..... ;)


Hiking In Japan

High and dry

It was another adventurous night for me. As I innocently sat in my dad's car, thinking I was safely on my way home from lab, halfway across CTE,

it ran OUT OF GAS!

*pause*. . . . . . . . . >.<



Of course, whats an exciting adventure without a photo to remember by....

OK! OK! it was actually just a slight drizzle... and i had an umbrella............. But it was REALLY dark ok!! hahahaha :)

Drool!!!Saturday

Recently, I have an obsession with this chio bodied babe! Her name, is Tuscani.


But no MONEY!!!! :(

Sleepppzzzz.....

How i wish i could take a lazy afternoon nap like this cat i caught lazing under a tree near holland village...



Also watched Mama Mia on weds thanks to the free gala preimere ticket from Andy. Thanks man! Center front row seats on the 2nd level! Bestest! I am no ABBA fan, but it was really entertaining. Catchy music punctuated with comic relief. If you ARE an ABBA fan. Its a must watch. Overall review: Entertaining.



The only other musicals I have watched are Le' Mis and Ms Saigon. Le' Mis was GREAT! Watched it in Leicester Square London. Although they were more *cough cough* "economical" seats, peering at the stage from 4 floors up, it was still tear quenchingly moving. Next to catch is Phantom of the Opera! Damn! missed it when it last came Singapore.

Colors Picture special!!! : Nataku bye bye...

Arubin FLim FAstival PLesents (wEEnner of PahPee awards):

Bye Bye Heian Scholar!

Staring:

Nataku as Heian Scholar

The Peace MAN as Mdm Wong
The Salsa KING as Dude
Weewee as Peepee
SWB (SKC Wonder Boy) as Policeman
Cold Blade as Shogun
Aoyama as Naima
Yurei as Lampchop
AssTea as Elauder
Jester as Yasashi Man
Bright Morning Sunshine as Man in Corner

Guest star:
A stranger as Passing stranger

ManeLESS lion Defered!

I MANAGE TO DEFER!!!! yeah!!!! this way i can complete my masters ASAP! Then hopefully, go japan after that to watch the AJKF Tournament in 3rd Nov. But it is SUCH A WASTE man! Cut all my precious....my preciousssss...... erm.....my hair for nothing! ok, for one day! damn!!! Oh well, its done. Too bad. But my friends were quite shock to see me. haha. So was I. Sad sad sad...

Nataku has left Singapore. But she remains in all our hearts. And heres a picture of some of those shoes who were there.

MANEless lionThursday

Good bye long hair. My precious mane... my PRECIOUS....... Nataku is also leaving for Japan liao... so sad.. many sad things happening today. Hope nataku will have many level ups there

Post 7th Asean Kendo Tournament blues....
Monday, 13 September 2004, 15:15am



Alrighty then! Months of training and late night dealing with tournament admin has finally come to and end (But not the training though). The day before we set off to KL I still had to stay in office to complete my progress report for my masters till 12midnight (right after my kendo training) followed by typing out my Shodan grading exam questions. Oh man, it too me till 3am in the morning to complete it. Didnt sleep the whole night cos was too busy donig last minute packing till 6am in the morning, only to start calling everony to make sure they have not overslept.

Ok! enough of complains. Generally the tournament was great! A fantastic experience to be remembered for life. And got to know friends from many neighbouring countries like Indonesia and Malaysia. Didnt get the chance to talk to anyone from thailand though.

However, our coach was disappointed about the competition. And he blames himself for our failure, which I think it is us who have failed him more then anything else. It was an emotional moment for all of us. Even the spectators were about to burst into tears. Although there is great disappointment, but we will not give up. We will train harder and be better the next time round.

Oh, I also went for my grading then, and successfully obtained my Shodan. Which is something like blackbelt in tae kwan do. Although I dont feel I am that good yet, but like many people say. When you get your shodan, it only means this is when you begin to try to fit urself into this shoe. To learn to be a shodan. To have the correct attitude to learn. To learn how to learn.



Yeah!!! i passed my shodan!!!

Although my masters has already been overdue, you dont really see my talking much about it hor? Haha, i am getting a lot of nagging from my parents already. Which is true la. Gotto buck up and get moving. Not young anymore, gotto graduate and get a job and earn some bacholar cash to have a swinging life! haha. Oh man! soooo... tired... need more sleep....

i remember in the earlier post in july, i mentioned i only got kendo and research, well, 2 months laters, its still the same. I've only got kendo AND research. Sigh..

Oh so sad, a friend of mine going to Japan to study for 10 months. Wait a minutes, whats so sad about that!? Its sooo exciting!!!! wish her luck and all the best! everyone seems to be going japan these days. sigh.

JDrama craze: PRIDE

Hi guys. Been so busy lately, as usual, that didnt have time to blog. What have i been doing these days... lets see... research research....research... Kendo kendo kendo kendo kendo....kendo...research. -_-" SIANZ!!! Ok la, kendo is not sian. Actually looking forward to every training more and more. Especially with the Asean Tournament in KL coming in 1 wks time. I'm getting estatic! :)

Oh ya, YESH! JDrama craze is here again!!!


PRIDE!

by takuya kimura! About an Ice Hockey captain. What can I say, I am a sucker for motivational / Teamwork shows. The opening song is by Queen, called "Born to love you". Together with the mtv, it is fantastic! Just gets me so worked up! So motivated to train. Nowadays, I actually get excited about going for training as compared to the drag and fear of training in the pass. Haha, lets hope this excited feeling lasts forever, and ever, and ever. But its a good Drama. Must watch Must Watch! Oh, and another show i've watched recently, is Windstruck! Finally. Oh man, Jun Ji-hyun is soooo cute!!! oh... and so sexy in the police uniform...:) Yum YUMMMMM....kee kee kee... But its a heart-aching story... and maybe only people who has been through that kinda heartache will fully appreciate the show. However, it still cant beat My Sassy Girl. Thats still the best!!! Ok! ok! back to work! shigoto shigoto! OH! almost forgot! now I am waiting for my friend to pass me my Kingston 512MB CF card!!! Yeah!!! It only costs S$92 in the COMEX exhibition in Suntec. Compared to the 128MB that costs me S$80 two years ago, this is DIRT CHEAP man! :) 512MB!!!!!!!!

Life is fragile, treasure it.

Had a brush with death last night. During the process of preparing some specimens for my experiment, I almost got myself splashed by boiling oil!

But i was lucky. Walking away when i felt things werent right. And even luckier when i have decided to turn off both the flames before stepping aside. Hard to describe. A picture says a thousand words.


The scene of the crime.

You see the big patch of water, THAT BOILING OIL! And the piece of newspaper on the ground, well, i was sitting there. U see it "wet", well, it could have been me half burnt by the boiling oil.

Scenario, lets say IF i didnt walk away, and i didnt turn off the fire. The oil would have spilled onto me, and another side of it, spill onto the blow-torch looking thing on the left. It would have ignited the oil, and then, I would not only be half scalded by boiling oil, I would have been ENGULFED by a ball of fire. HAha, wat a way to go right? burst into flame! haha..... NOT FUNNY.

Was in a state of shock last night. Stoned the night away thinking how lucky i am, to be alive.

So people out there, please treasure whatever you have, the people you know. Cos you never know when they (or u) will be gone. Learn to appreciate what you HAVE.

Why do you do Kendo?

"Why do we train kendo? Why do we go for kendo training. Are we forced to? Or are we doing it out of our own free will" Above was the essence of what our sensei lectured us, due to our lethargic movement and sloppy footwork tonight/last night. In life as in kendo, it is the same. Many a times, we do things for the sake of doing it. We are not sure, not clear in our path. We just follow. We avoid asking ourselves such difficult questions as in WHY? WHY? If we are clear in why we do things, then we will do them better, and more efficient.. and we wont be in such contradiction and misery. But life is far from perfect. We are not born with all these answers. Thats why we must search. And in the process of it, enjoy the journey of this search. Its not easy, nothing worth searching is easy. But if you find it, it would be definately worth the while... And meantime, u can enjoy the ride too.

Always Maintain your posture and composure

Never show your weakness to your opponent.

Never say die.

Never give up.

Research, Kendo, Research, Kendo, Research......

This is what I do all day, research or kendo. Its either one or the other... Ok, I do eat and sleep too... but besides that, its all about my masters project and kendo.

So many things to do for my project, but so little time. And oh the all so mighty Murphy is right again. Murphy's first law, whatever can go wrong WILL go wrong. And these things going wrong are setting my completion date further and further back. And with the scholarship ending, my savings will be going dry soon. "SPare Change, Spare change for the needy.....""Poor masters student needs money to complete Thesis... and buy a brand new hi-fi""spare change for the needy"

Then theres kendo stuff. Back in Kendo training after 3 wks of MC, doing up all the minutes, agenda and stuff for the Alumni meetings and new responsibilities to help out in admin of the 7AKT. But really excited about it though. Going to a regional event to help out in the admin. Would really broaden my horizon and also a lot of experience to gain. But thats in Sept. Now, its still ok. Seems to be more busy with kendo stuff then work stuff... ahha... not good not good. Need to graduate fast.

Oh! yesterday was my friend's convocation! Wah.. so fast. They are all graduating already. And a friend of hers whom i got to know when i went newspaper collecting with them earlier on won the Lee Kuan Yew Gold medal!!! OMG!!! But he really doesnt look like the nerdy nerdy type. Friendly, socialable, street-wise, and crapping non-stop like the rest of us, you would think he is the type who plays too much and forget to study type. But boy was I wrong. Well, some people gets all the luck... and even worse... some get all the luck... AND they work hard TOO!! Damn... HAhahaa.... Well, congradulations to the graduating class of 2004!

time flies, 2 yrs...
hope you've been happy.
happy 13th July.

Determination

If single-minded determination is absent, one will never advance regardless of the years in training... Technique has its place, but spiritual forging is far more important...

Yamaoka Tesshu (1836-1888)Itto Shoden Muto Ryu
from THE SWORD OF NO-SWORD: Life of the Master Warrior Tesshuby John Stevens

The rain has finally stopped


The pass 2 weeks has been gloomy weather to me. Flu, Cough, Headache, bad news and MORE bad news. Looks like the rain has finally stopped. The cough has finally showed signs of recovery. Still coughing, but much less frequent already. At least I can almost complete a WHOLE conversation without coughing too much. Great achievement i assure you.

So today, I am back in my office, rolled up sleeves and started making specimens for my experiments. Hope to be able to complete all the experimental work by early august. Tough, TOUGH i tell you! but will try my best. Well, anyway, today is a good start.

Also, do u think i should cut my hair? its only been.....humm... 4 months since i last cut it..... Sigh... and by october I would need to go back to my first reservice. *BIG SIGH* haha.. So no point cutting too much now. but i think i will la. Maybe will get it TRIMMED on wednesday. T_T

Bad things never travel alone

Been sick for the pass few days... again!.. whats new right? Developed a bad cough since last sat... tot it was nothing.. but sunday night, it got so bad that i couldnt sleep. You know how your body tense up when you cough, well, this tensing up was so bad that my stomach, throat and HEAD was aching like crazy. At one point I swear my head was about to split into 2! Then after 5 days of suffering, i finally went to seek a second opinion from another doctor. And he said it could be a possible case of mild acute bronchities! ...... scary. So now i am taking anti-biotics and see how it goes.

As the chinese proverb goes, bad things never travel alone... yesterday i also got an email, saying i was being removed from an event that i was looking forward to, due to constrains in the number of participants set by the organiser, a chance to participate in an event that i was very VERY much looking forward. But well, when you are unskilled, untalented, just living in the dream of having the chance to participate in it for just 3 days would be great already. But i was saddened, disappointed and frustrated. But this is how things are. Those without talent, would just have to work harder. twice, thrice, a million times harder just to catch up (I guess what i put in just wasnt enough). Thus, REALITY. The world is not a fair place. You have to work hard to balance the odds. Sometimes i feel, all my life, thats what i have been doing. Not born with very good brains nor brawn, when other take 10 hrs to study, i need to put in 16. when people put in 1 yr of training, i need to put in 3.

Sometimes you just cant help but to wonder why its so unfair. But slowly i've grown to realise, that the more effort i put into it, the more i treasure it. The more it means to me. Sure, if i fail, it would hurt more too. But if i succeed, the joy is something other cannot begin to comprehend. Sounds as though i am trying to console myself? sure.. maybe. I really dont know. But no one really knows. Our lives is what we make of it. And things are never as bad as it seems, its just a matter of which perspective we see things from. isnt it?

but sometimes, some things in life, which no matter how much you try, it just doesnt help.

Beginning of a new page

Finally! i have got my lazy (but SeKuSi) butt out of my sofa and changed the wall paper of my site (with the works) AND opened a new chapter in my blog! Phew.. long over due. the last one smells like sweat socks in a guys locker room after a rainy rugby match...

Actually, been sick for the pass 4 days, flu -> sore throat -> running nose -> COUGH! Damn it! irritating phlegm! Couldnt sleep properly for the pass 2 nites cos of the cough. !#$@$# and it is also the first time (in a long LONG time) i spent the ENTIRE weekend at home! How exciting!

FLASHback!

Just came back from a 3 week USA trip to the southwest, through Las Vegas Neveda, Grand Canyon Arizona, Yosemite and San Francisco California on the 17th June 2004. Left on the 29th May. It was really great. Most of the people there were so friendly, on the average, I think i make a new friend everyday! Took tons of photos of course. 2+ GB of digital photo and short films, and 24 rolls of film! Phew! cost me a bomb! But it was ALLLLL worth it! EVery single exposure.

Ah! nowadays lazy to write cheem stuff... already burdened with so many rubbish and things to worry and think about. Just wanna type crap today....

Crap crap CraP CrAp cRAp cRaP CrAp CRaP CRap Crap CRAP cRAP crAP crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap...... LAME! ahaha... DUH... ok ok.. enough for the night. Glad to be back :) tho i do miss the states :) and japan, and europe... and ALL my backpacking days!

1st DRAFT COMPLETE!!!!
Oh MAN!!!!!
FINALLY!!!! complete my first draft! and submitted to my supervisor for approval already. There would most probably be ammendments, but its ok. At least the bulk of the work is done. The rest are just touching up and AWAY WE GO!!! But seriously, no joke. Really had a rude awakening from all this. Maybe I will take a week to relax before I start to prepare for my Thesis already. not much time left.

Also, did i ever mention I had this friend, whom i borrowed my bicycle 2 yrs ago, and who's bro lost my bick cos he didn't lock it up. So he promised to buy me a new bick. But its been 2 yrs, and i STILL havent told him which one i want. Dame. instead of him feeling bad about it, its become I who am feeling bad for letting him wait so long. Resolution. Must settle all this "debts" A.S.A.P.!

Meanwhile, RELAX!!! RELAX!!!.... will try to sleep early tonight, need to recover from all the late nights and stressful days so that i can resume my kendo trainings :) I have once again realised. I LOVE KENDO!

V Day, D-Day Journey

Haloz! Yesh! today is valentines day. and all the couple out there enjoying themselves, with guys stretching their heads what to buy for the gals, some red faced buying flowers for the first time or carrying it across town to meet their love ones. ME? I spend V-day worrying about my D-day.

Thats right! my deadline for the conference paper has just been dragged longer again! But this time, i am glad that it did. Although i would want to get it over and done with as SOOOON as possible, but I would want it to be a well written paper even more! Not only for my pride, but also doing it for my supervisor who has been so understanding and tolerant towards my slacking and lazing. So I have decided to spend this whole weekend mugging for the paper once again (similar to last wk's agenda. Sat and sunday worked till 11pm at night) But this time, its with a brighter note and more focus in direction as my supervisor enlightened me somemore on how a proper conference paper should be written. Really feel this 10 yrs of experience between us is really oceans apart. Anyway, now I am more refreshed from the 9 hrs sleep i finally got last night, and today start afresh to rush for my paper. Hopefully I can complete the first draft and submit to it him on monday.

Throught all this, i have once again been reminded how we should not do things and go through life always trying to get somewhere and curse and swear during the process of getting there. Cos for most things, its the path and journey you take to achieve something that really matters, and not the result. Just like whats been illustrated in 'Le Petit Prince' by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, otherwise more popularly known as 'The Little Prince'. The rose matters to him because it was his rose. He cared for it, loved it, protected it, thats why it is more special then all the roses in the world. Same goes for our lives. Things matters to us only because we put in effort to do it. And what you learn from trying to get something, is during the process of getting it, the journey you have embarked to reach the goal. But more often then not, people usually would be so obsessed about getting to the goal, they neglected what they could have gained along the way. For those who appreciates every since step of their journey, will usually end up with more then a basket full of little suprises. Little skills and little improvements they have attained. Its not like RPG games in computer where only after gaining a certain amount of experience points will you suddenly gain a LEVEL-UP. Where all your stats rise a few points. Thats the gaming world. This is Reality.

So for me, I felt that i have learn to take stress a little better, learn to appreciate my work a little more, and most of all, understand the importance of the journey a little more.

Ok, now back to work ;)


ok, another attempt to add a pic.
This time, its the Japan Festival that Ryozan helped organise.

DEADLINE
Oh man! I finally realised that when people say "deadline", they really mean it. Cause if what is to be done by then is NOT, then.... there will literally a dead man then! Holy crap! only less then 2 wks to my deadline for the conference paper, and I am still running simulations which refuses to work! @$@#%$!@~ I am now working from 8am till 10pm everyday, and I still think its not enough to rush for the paper. So I have made the painful decision to cut down kendo training to only sundays for the next 2-3 wks till my paper is completed. Sigh. I SOooo badly wanna improve my kendo, but work is suppose to have priority. Sigh, really feeling low, down and out these few days. Maybe its the stress, maybe its just been swept under the carpet for tooo long. but a lot to think about these days. maybe this is the quarter life crisis coming. HAhaha.... altho i seem to have had it for since 4-6 years already.. what a long long quarter life i have man.. haha..

Ah bah, anyway, back to work for me.........


Oh, here is a picture of the HUGE cloud I saw on 20th Jan 2004. It was really magnificant. Just like the mothership in the movie Independence Day. Unlike other clouds, it was very compact and defined. And with there being very few clouds around it, it really looks like a solid object. I could only catch a small bit of it as it spread so wide across the morning sky, that its almost impossible to catch everything in one shot. And the crowded Singapore horizon doesnt help very much either....:/

I declare the 6th Singapore Youth Kendo Tournament 2004........CLOSE

Yeah! The 6th Singapore Youth Kendo Tournament has offical closed! YEAH!!!!!!!! a HUGE load off my mind.... Was really dead stress that few days. The night before the tournament, was in bed at 1am... but slept only at 2 cos i will wake up every 1-2 minutes to scribble stuff on my notes as i just recalled things to do or say during the opening and stuff i need to do before and during the tournament. But all those sleepless nights and late nights in the office is all worth it. Cos the sensei's left the tournament with a smile on their faces. This is all I ask for. Although there were a few gliches here and there, but for a 1st timer like me, and 1st timers like all my juniors who made this tournament possible, it is a complete success. I should give the perfectionist self of mine a break. and give myself a pat on the back. But it all wont be necessary, with an email from Chan sensei saying its a job well done, its worth 1 million of my pats on the back :)

After the tournament, we all went Dax's place to watch the primere of the LAST SAMURAI. yes, we did, my will power is as strong as tofu... but it was fun. Going though the fight sequals over and over again in slow motion and then normal speed, then slow motion again. And also giving wise crap commens about the movie and effendi fantasizing OUT LOUD.. hahaha.. all this would never be as fun as it would have been if we were in the movies. But we will most probably watch the in the movies again. :):)

Ok, but now i have to get back to work and rush for the conference paper in US by 6th Feb..... STRESS!!!!!! sigh..... how how how how how?????
ARRRRggggggg......i need a miracle!!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!!

test test

Back from Langkawi

Firstly, A HAPPY NEW YEAR to one and all who have mysteriously found my website eventhough i've yet to tell anyone about it.:) but you guys are free to roam around. If not I wouldn't have made a blog in the first place.

Anyways...
Whao, the Langkawi trip was fun. We rented MANUAL cars WITHOUT power steering, and almost considered without brakes when we were there. But it was cool, just nearly lost our little lives about 283 times only. Nothing to brag about. Haha.... oh man. the people in our car (cos there were 18 of us, so we split into 3 cars) only have one objective in mind. and thats to STAY ALIVE!!!!!! hahahaa... its like a big thing for everyone when the car makes a turn. besides the driver checking the roads, the rest of the people will be like, "LEFT CLEAR!, RIGHT CLEAR! ALL CLEAR!!!! GO!!!!" AAHahaha... oh man.. now that i look back, its really hilarious. but honestly, then, it was a matter of life and death man! :(

oh, so the first day we went up this so call mountain, but think its just about less then 1000m. but its definately higher then our tiny bukit timah hill:) We took cable car up. Its the BEST way to travel man! i mean if u wanna travel vertically up a mountain to have a view from the summit. The rest of the time(e.g. Mt Kinabalu, Mt Fuji), we usually CLIMB up... so comparitively, this is REALLLY relaxing. The view was really great too. and thanks to us almost getting lost, we managed to catch the sunset:) a truely magnificant view.

We went island hopping on the second day and ended off with doing banana boating in a lagoon like place. it was really fun although the boat dragging us wasnt very powerful. So we ended up Throwing ourselves off the banana boat! hahaa kinda stupid but it was fun.

Then before we know it, the 3 days passed. And something feels amiss when i was leaving lankawi, something i forgot to do.......... SLACK!!!! i didn;t slack nor 'nuar' (rot) around at the beach at ALL!!!! :( ARRrrrggg... and after another 13hrs bus ride, i ended up more tired after the trip then before..... kinda defeats the purpose for me going to Langkawi... ah well, i had fun. But honestly, the most memorable time there is still the car rides, where we struggled to stay alive... haha